the early bird

i love mornings. according to my mom, i always have loved them. for as long as i can remember (even in elementary school) i've taken great joy in waking up early while it's still dark outside and reading the newspaper. this morning was no different - i woke up just before the sun came up and watched the sun rise over our neighbor's house across the street. i read the paper, cruised through the classified ads, read the real estate listings and dreamed of the future. it's so fitting that i should feel hopeful in the morning.

the morning is so promising. the entire day is ahead of you. morning is so new and so fresh. it's too early for anything to have gone wrong. and when i wake up early and get something done, i get the feeling that i know a special secret that no one else knows. it's not really a secret so much as a feeling of achievement having made my meal plan, grocery list, fed the pets and contemplated life's great issues while most people still have the covers pulled over their heads.

there are some special mornings i remember very clearly: the day of my wedding, the day pete & i moved to florida, the day of the great spinal tap of '06, the first day of my summer state-fair-singer-and-jazz-band days, the day my brother and i went to jazz camp ten whole summers ago. then again, every morning is special.

yesterday morning i cleaned up after a party. while schlepping the beer bottles and scraping the crusty barbeque sauce into the garbage can i wondered about strange mornings. how can day-old barbeque sauce be the beginning of a special day? i guess maybe i'm eccentric, but even cleaning up after an evening of fun in the morning lends itself to the promise of a new day. a sort of strange reminder that the previous day was once new and fresh, unlike that nasty barbeque sauce.

even as i blog, the hope of the morning has dissolved into the vacuum of time between 1030am and noon. the promise begins to fade into the reality of lunch preparations and housecleaning. at least that morning hope i speak of leaves me with a smile. that's because i know it will happen again tomorrow. then i'll have that special morning secret feeling all over again.