Happy? Sad? Can't tell.

The past couple of weeks have been pretty wild. Since I submitted my letter of resignation from my job two Wednesdays ago some things have moved quickly while others have drug along. I am sad to be leaving the current job - but it's just not working. And it has been an interesting experience to see how sometimes things just don't work out. It's not some sort of huge judgement about me or about them, it's just that it didn't work. And I'm convinced that I didn't fail them. All of this has been a little nutty. I have not identified a new gig yet (however do have a prospect that I am very excited about, but hate to putall the eggs in one basket)! That no job thing is pretty scary, but I also don't want to push myself into the wrong thing. Adulthood is hard. Sometimes I wouldn't mind cashing it all in and returning to kindegarten. But I guess that's not how it works. I am happy that I have made the decision that I know is right for me, but I am sad because my grand master plan didn't pan and now I have to find another option.

What's really hard for me --- and I mean a lot more difficult than I would have liked --- is that all of this is happening this fall. Autumn is by far my favorite time of year, though not so much here in Florida because it won't feel like autumn until much later. Yesterday I wore a pair of corduroy pants and today wool gauchos (with a rust colored vest --- also a little like autumn) wishing that it would feel like fall here. In Iowa today it's going to be in the 50s, autumn indeed, while here in the deep South it'll still be near 90. Don't know why I find this so depressing but somehow I do. There's always a bright side, though, and here that's the fact that there will be no snow when my Iowa parents and pals are truding through the white stuff.

Well, I better get back to it --- or maybe go get some coffee to try and help me through.